I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
