when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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