one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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