Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
did i just pee glitter
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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