I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
