You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
