When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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