Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
