I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize