why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize