# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
