College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
