Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
