it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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