we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
