I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
