i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
