it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
