Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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