she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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