finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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