I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
