Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
