Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
