Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
