Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
love makes seman taste better
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
