In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize