I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
