I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize