I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize