How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
