tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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