I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
