i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
