So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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