"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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