My liver just broke up with me...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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