i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
