420 ftw
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
