"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Soap is not a condiment
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
