Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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