It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
