no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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