the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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