dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
