How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize