Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
