yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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