Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
operation harelip BJ is a go
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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