she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
