no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
