lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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