She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
