Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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