you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
