It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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