I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
