Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
